Are you signed up with every dating network on the Internet? Have you received zero response, or at best someone you wouldn't date? The reason might be your communication skills. Follow these easy steps to increase your results and find your mate!
Step 1:
To get positive results from an online dating service or myspace.com you need to focus on details, use positive language, know what you want and don't lie! The first thing that stands out in any reply is spelling. While the Internet has developed a language all it's own for conversing with friends, that language is not appropriate in a response to the person you might spend the rest of your life with. Most websites have built in spell check that is fast and easy to use. If the website you are using does not have this feature, write your reply in a Word or Word Perfect document and then copy your test into your reply. To do this: highlighting the text, pressing Ctrl and the letter C at the same time. Then place your text on the web page by pressing Ctrl V. While typing your response in a word document page errors will automatically be highlighted. After finishing your reply, hit spell check and you will be given the correct spellings and grammar corrections. This step sounds difficult and time consuming; do you want your soul mate, or the person that is willing to take anything that comes along. If you are really serious about a relationship you will consider that the only thing representing you is your words, and a fuzzy picture!
Step 2:
Language: Do not use pet names! Luv, Love, preti ladi, babe, are words used by people that are familiar with you. They are pet names that have developed through intimacy. To use them in an introduction is inappropriate and insincere. Be respectful! Be courteous!
Step 3:
Do not focus on your past when replying to an ad! You don't have to spill your guts the first time you respond to someone's ad. We all have pasts that are not perfect, so leave it in the past. You are working on a future! Make a list of what you want in a woman. List your likes and leave off your dislikes. Make sure you are listing characteristics and not physical features. As you get to know this person the dislikes will come out naturally. If you dislike smoking, that is usually listed on their profile page! Take time to check their profile out carefully. I must add that you should be truthful. We all like to exaggerate from time to time, but this is not the place to do it. If you are serious, then treat the process with truth. Truth is respected!
Step 4:
Do NOT make negative comments about your ex, whether they are ex-husband/wife or ex girlfriend/boyfriend. Making negative comments about an ex reveals your lack of skill in effectively ending a relationship. Focus on the future and what you want in a relationship NOW! Revealing that your ex-wife cheated on you gives the impression that YOU were lacking, not that she was a poor wife. The focus is your good qualities. Do you really want someone to date you because they feel sorry for you?
Step 5:
Do not appear to be needy! Instead of focusing on what you don't have in your life, tell them what you do have. Tell them the positive qualities of your life. Many people respond with "I don't want to be hurt"! Good for you, no one does! Writing that you don't want to be hurt reveals your fear and makes you vulnerable. A good response would be to write you want a positive mature relationship!
Step 6:
This is a BIG one! Do not focus on looks! First of all most of the pictures on a website are flattering, or taken years before. We are not all blessed with model features and photo charisma. Be truthful! If you spend just one day observing the human race you will discover we come in all different shapes and sizes, and not one of those sizes reflects the person inside. It is all right to want to date a pretty/handsome person, but be realistic about your choices. Read what the person is advertising for. A person that loves the beach, sand and boating, isn't likely to want to be with a person that loves to hike in the desert! Just because they have a nice smile isn't a reason to respond to their ad. Please use a current photo. Why set yourself up for disappointment? Use several different photos so that you can give a more dimensional look to yourself. Looks are not the most important aspect in picking a date and they can be very deceiving!
Tips & Warnings
- Be yourself! There is nothing wrong with that!
- Always be careful about giving out personal information to a stranger!
- Always meet in a public place!
- Always tell family and friends what you are doing and who you are meeting!
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