Experience Counts

The young person who has belonged to social groups since he was a child slips into dating situations more easily during adolescence than does the youngster who was not socially active as a child. Why? Because he has developed social skills that the less experienced youngster has yet to learn.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]He knows how to carry on a conversation, how to handle an introduction, how to dance, how to eat properly, how to accept and to refuse an invitation. All these and many other social skills are learned in action with other people.

Some boys and girls pick up the normal courtesies and social behaviors as a matter of course during their childhood. They are fortunate-and don't suffer the embarrassment that confronts teen-agers who have not had such opportunities.

The young person with limited social experience must tackle the tasks of becoming socially comfortable with other people in a variety of situations as he approaches dating age. This is not always easy, but it must be done before he can feel at ease in dating situations.

It's Up to You

Occasionally one finds a young person who bitterly blames his lack of social success on his background. He feels that because he grew up on the wrong side of the tracks or in a lower-income family, he is behind the eight ball. This kind of attitude is self-defeating and unfortunate. It's not confined to teen-agers either, but is common among those of every age who waste energy complaining about their lack of advantages, rather than using it to improve their lot.

Vernon is the kind of fellow who might have been licked by his background. His family lived in a shabby house in the poorest part of town. His father was hardly the kind of man of whom any boy could be proud, and his mother was little better.

Vernon never was allowed to invite friends to his home, and he had to forego belonging to clubs and organizations in order to work and help support his family. But Vernon wouldn't let circumstances defeat him. His gay spirit and wit and his talent for telling a good story took him into many a group as he became older. And his sympathy for the underdog, his concern for the underprivileged, won him a place in one after another project from grammar school onward. Like many of the world's great men, he made stumbling blocks into stepping stones and rose above his handicaps.

Any young person has the answer to his social problems within himself. When he really wants to, he can grow in his ability to win friends and acceptance. Often the person who has to forge a place for himself develops a special charm that more privileged individuals lack. A person's true individuality is his own to develop-in his own way and at his own pace throughout life.

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