Quick! What’s the most common complaint about online dating? No, it’s not that people misrepresent themselves by posting outdated pictures or lying about their age (though this happens plenty often). Rather, it’s that a guy can write to dozens of available women each week and not receive a single response, and a gal can post a fetching profile and not hear from a single solitary guy. Here’s how to perk up your online dating mojo so you actually wind up dating somebody you meet online.
Step 1:
Be more selective (if you’re male). The typical guy who’s been unleashed on an online dating site will forward his profile and a generic “hi” to any gal within 500 miles and 20 years of age. This is about as effective as sending your resume to every job posting in every newspaper in the United States, regardless of whether you’re qualified. Pinging someone with whom you actually have things in common will vastly increase your odds of receiving a reply.
Step 2:
Be less selective (if you’re female). As noted above, most women who post their profiles online are bound to receive at least a few responses (and “a few” means anywhere from a few dozen to a few thousand). If you’re not getting many nibbles, consider amending that section where you specify your “dream date” as earning over $200,000 a year and standing at least 6 foot 2. Even guys who ping everyone in sight will quake at the thought of chatting you up with those specs.
Step 3:
Work on your pickup lines. Another thing men tend to be guilty of is sending bland, generic emails, either because they a) haven’t bothered to read the profile of the female in question; or b) are genuinely boring people who can’t muster a single interesting thing to say. If you fall into the latter category, there’s no easy solution, but if you’re in the former, taking 15 minutes or so to write your email (rather than 5) will be worth the investment.
Step 4:
Post flattering pictures. This sounds like a no-brainer, but many people are lazy, and will post a mediocre head shot they happen to have available in digital format, rather than asking a friend to take brand-new digital pics in more forgiving lighting. (If you’re female you may not want to post a picture that’s too good, however, because you’ll be swamped with so many responses you’ll want to turn off your computer).
Step 5:
Take a break. In virtual life, as in real life, it’s possible to try too hard. If the emails you’ve been sending (or the profiles you’ve been posting) have a desperate pleading tone, consider staying off the system for a few days or weeks until your inspiration has renewed itself. If you’re a guy, you’ll likely start fielding more responses, and if you’re a gal, you’ll start receiving a few more nibbles than you did during your cold streak.
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