You've done it. You've written your profile and uploaded a flattering picture of yourself on the online dating site of your choice. Maybe you even read some articles and followed advice offered on the site itself on how to write a good profile. You've read advice on dating online and how to protect yourself from those who might have evil intentions. But one thing that may not be so obvious is what to look for in the profiles of others.
Step 1:
Take advantage of features offered by the site. Many sites offer personality tests, which can give you more information about yourself as well as the other person. Also, when searching for matches, use the search criteria to be fairly specific in the type of matches you want. If this yields too few matches, you can always broaden your search.
Step 2:
Decide what qualities or characteristics your potential match "must have." Some obvious ones might be "lives within 200 miles of me" (or whatever you have decided is practical for you). Desire to have kids (or not) might be another one.
Step 3:
Similarly, decide ahead of time what your own deal-breakers are. For example, if you are allergic to cats, you'd probably want to avoid someone whose profile indicates she owns seven of them. This might seem fairly obvious, but it pays to take a good look at yourself and figure out some of the less obvious deal-breakers for you. For example, would it bother you to date someone of a different political affiliation? How about someone who works long hours? Try to answer these questions for yourself as much as possible.
Step 4:
Once you have your personal must-haves and deal-breakers in mind, there are some other things to watch out for when perusing others' profiles. One major thing to look for is negativity. Most people try to come across in a positive way in their profile, but some make reference to past hurts, drama or head games. Someone who seems to be dwelling on this may be someone to avoid.
Step 5:
Consider the flip side of what people are saying. For example, the positively worded "very spontaneous" may mean that the person continually breaks plans. "Strong-willed" could mean "unreasonably stubborn," or it could just mean "determined."
Step 6:
Remember that nothing is absolute. Some people can write a really good profile and then come across horribly in person. Others don't have a very appealing profile but may turn out to be a perfect match. Emailing and chatting can be a safe way to learn more about the person, as long as you are cautious about giving out personal information.
Tips & Warnings
- Be sure to check your profile for grammar and spelling errors. It is amazing how many people forget to do this. Not that you cannot find someone to love you even if you are a poor speller, but spelling and grammatical errors can detract from an otherwise positive impression. Also, you want your profile to look as though you put some thought into it.
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