What Real Alpha Males Dont Want You to Know

Have you ever seen a group of men competing for a woman's attention?

Have you seen them showing off, blocking each other, and generally all trying to be the biggest jerk around?

Have you perhaps even been a part of this competition?

Then have you ever seen a man who is NOT involved in the competition, simply come up, say a few words, and walk off with that woman?

We see it all the time. In fact, we, or our students, are often the ones walking off with the woman.

That man who walked off with the woman was the "alpha male."

And if you are trying to become an "alpha male" yourself, the odds are that the REAL "alpha males" are LAUGHING at you.

The "alpha male," in case you do not know, is the "top dog" in a dog pack (or the "top animal" in any group of animals, like the "top monkey" in a monkey troop).

According to biologists, the alpha male gets "priority access to limited resources."

That means he gets the best food. That means he get the hottest females.

It's priority access. The other guys have to wait their turn in line... if they get a turn at all.

So here's what happens....

Men who want to succeed with women hear about this "alpha male" idea, and decide that they need to become more "alpha."

They figure that if they can just be the "top dog" among men, they'll get the women they desire.

And they figure that the way to do this is to push around other men, act tough, and to generally become a world-class jerk.

They think a lot about "being alpha" and "appearing alpha." They worry about it. They argue about it on internet discussion boards.

But it's all a trap.

You see, if you spend your time worrying about being "alpha," and have tried to push other guys down...

Then you are NOT an "alpha male."

There's an actual, scientific name for what you've become.

That name is:

"Alpha wanna-be."

nd if you've fallen into the trap of becoming an "alpha wanna-be," you can be assured of one thing:

The REAL "alpha males" -- the ones who ARE getting the women you desire -- are LAUGHING at you.

If you want to know WHY the real "alpha males" would laugh at your attempts to become "alpha" -- and how the REAL "alpha Men" got to the "top of the heap," and thus get the girls -- then you'll want to read the rest of this article right now.

Here's the Fact That Real "Alpha Men" Don't Want You To Know

TRYING to be the "alpha male" -- that is, pushing other guys around, acting tough, and worrying a lot about how "alpha" you are -- actually makes you LESS "alpha."

That's right -- being an "alpha wanna-be" actually makes you LESS alpha, and LESS attractive.

This is an important point, and we want you to really get it, so let us put it another way, to make it absolutely clear:

When you worry about competing against other men -- that is, how "alpha" you are -- you actually make yourself LESS "alpha." You make yourself LOSE the competition.

But here's a strange truth....

The man who comes up "out of nowhere" and walks off with that hot woman, while everyone else is competing and showing off and trying to look tough, is NOT caught up in "trying to be 'alpha'."

Because he's not part of the competition, he can simply concentrate on being his best, most romantic self.

He can "bypass" the other men who are caught up in the hopeless task of "out alpha-ing" each other.

It's a little bit like a fight scene in a Kung-fu movie.

Have you ever seen a Kung-fu movie, where two gangs are fighting each other, but there's one guy standing off to the side, not participating?

He's not caught up in competing with the other "alpha-wanna-be" men.

He's not trying to prove himself, or show off. He's just standing there.

Then, near the end of the fight he swoops in and makes one or two decisive moves, and finishes the fight.

That is the path of the true "alpha male."

Here's What To Do

Stop worrying about being the "alpha male." (We guarantee to you that real "alpha males" are not worrying about it.) Stop worrying about competing against other men.

Spend your mental energy on something that really matters -- on HOW you interact with women.

Let us tell you a brief story about our client Joe.

Like many men, Joe was sick of trying to learn complicated techniques, and sick of competing with all the other "alpha wanna-be's" for a chance to try them. Does that sound familiar to you?

So, after getting some coaching from us, he decided to try a different way.

We advised him to take ONE SIMPLE "success with women" skill -- in this case, curiosity -- and to spend a couple of weeks becoming a master of it.

He took our advice, and spent two weeks become expert at asking interesting questions to women.

He didn't worry about "being alpha." He didn't worry about getting the phone number. He only thought about getting curious about women and asking great questions. He practiced curiosity with every woman he encountered.

Within a couple of weeks of focusing on building this simple skill, he could see ANY woman and ask her an interesting, conversation-starting question.

Once he mastered that, he moved on to "showing romantic interest." He chose a couple of flirting moves, and practiced them on every woman he encountered.

By simply adding a new skill every few weeks, Joe quickly started succeeding with women beyond his wildest dreams.

And that -- simple as it is -- is the real secret of "alpha men."

Real "alpha" men don't think about being alpha. They don't think much about competing with other men. True alpha men are not trying to "prove themselves."

They are, quite simply, men who have done the work to be good at expressing their romantic selves. They have mastered a few fundamental skills so well that few men can "beat" them.

It's that simple.

So why are we telling you the "alpha male" secret?

We are telling you because we are sick of men driving themselves crazy trying to be "alpha."

To give you an example --

Recently we got an email from a man asking to be unsubscribed from our newsletter list.

He claimed we are "not as alpha as we think" because we have recently criticized some of the techniques of some of our competitors.

Here's what you need to know about that:

We don't tell you about the pitfalls in some of the trendy success-with-women ideas that are making the rounds to try to look "alpha." We couldn't care less about that.

We also also don't do it to be jerks.

We do it because we spend too much of our lives working with men who's success with women and self-esteem have been destroyed by their trying to use hopeless techniques that will never work for them.

We end up cleaning up the mess, and we're tired of it.

If you're already a professional performer, hypnotist, or actor, then great -- paste on some new fake personality and go after the women. But if you are a normal guy, then you'd better look for the simple, effective solutions that will work FOR YOU.

http://www.phewit.com

Real Opportunity for Dating

Do you have a real opportunity for dating? This is the key factor which determines when you begin to date. If you have no one to go with, then you can't date, no matter how ready you are.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]If there are few social events in your school or community attended by both boys and girls, your dating may again be delayed-that is, unless you take matters into your own hands.

Creating opportunities of your own may be hazardous, or it may make the difference between dating or not dating at all. So let's look at some of the factors involved.

Offered-Friends and Fun

Some schools, churches, and communities provide plenty of opportunities for young people to date and become socially expert. They offer a good youth program in which any young person can find friends and activities, and they encourage wholesome interrelationships between the sexes.

When the social program is combined with opportunities for discussing and reviewing one's personal progress, young people have a real advantage. During the teen years, and on into young adulthood, most persons of both sexes are striving to find themselves, to become accepted as persons as well as dating partners.

They need to know not only what is expected of them on a date, but how to develop into attractive and interesting men and women.

Schools, churches, and youth-serving agencies provide many-faceted programs in which young people can find themselves and their interests-and share those interests.

Often they themselves help initiate social boy-girl programs as well as informal and regular courses that prepare for wholesome dating experiences.

"A Stranger in Town"

Sometimes a young person finds himself in a strange town where he knows few, if any, datable young people. Perhaps he has transferred to a new school or this is his first year away at college. The question is-how to make the friends that lead to dating?

It's natural for a girl or boy in a new place to feel insecure among strangers. "Will they like me?" "What do they expect of me here as a person?" "How can I get to know the people I'll like and who will like me?" These and many other questions keep arising.

A teenager in such a situation may avoid new people just because he's afraid of making a wrong impression. The result then is that others think of him as a snob and avoid him. How much better to do something positive to get into the swing of things!

A boy or girl in a strange new school could join a club, get a spot on the school paper, try out for the glee club, the drama group, the hockey team, or get on a committee. Just telling the school counselor or home room teacher of your eagerness to get into activities is a good start. Once the ice is broken, the rest is relatively easy.

School Ties

Possibly your dating experience is hampered by the fact that you are attending an all-boys' or all-girls' school. Then it's necessary to date people from other schools if you date at all. Your school may plan mixed parties with another school. Young people that you meet at such functions will probably be suitable as dates.

Going out with students from other schools can be fun-if it's not overdone. Dating people outside your school to the exclusion of the boys and girls in your class is a mistake. As a teen-ager you need to be in with a group that has similar interests and is near enough for a Coke and chatter after school.

A Word to the Wise

Most teenagers stick pretty well within one group for their dates and parties. Occasionally, however, you may be invited to a party where some of the guests are strangers to you. Suppose, while you're there, you meet a boy who seems nice and who wants to take you home. How will you know if he's a suitable escort? There are some things you may want to consider before giving him your answer.

You might ask the adult in charge of the party about the boy and his reputation. Or you might speak with the hostess. If these people speak well of the fellow, you could accept his invitation. But first make sure that he hasn't brought another girl to the party, whom he is planning to ditch.

You don't want to be the cause of someone else's discomfort. If there is some question about the boy's reputation, or if no one at the party knows him well enough to say, the safest thing is to stay out of the situation. If you'd like to get to know him better, you might suggest that another couple whom you know well join you in riding home.

If no one else is going your way, you can politely refuse this time, and invite him to your house some afternoon to meet your parents and listen to records. As you get to know him better, you'll learn whether or not he's the kind of person you'd like to date.

http://www.phewit.com

Experience Counts

The young person who has belonged to social groups since he was a child slips into dating situations more easily during adolescence than does the youngster who was not socially active as a child. Why? Because he has developed social skills that the less experienced youngster has yet to learn.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]He knows how to carry on a conversation, how to handle an introduction, how to dance, how to eat properly, how to accept and to refuse an invitation. All these and many other social skills are learned in action with other people.

Some boys and girls pick up the normal courtesies and social behaviors as a matter of course during their childhood. They are fortunate-and don't suffer the embarrassment that confronts teen-agers who have not had such opportunities.

The young person with limited social experience must tackle the tasks of becoming socially comfortable with other people in a variety of situations as he approaches dating age. This is not always easy, but it must be done before he can feel at ease in dating situations.

It's Up to You

Occasionally one finds a young person who bitterly blames his lack of social success on his background. He feels that because he grew up on the wrong side of the tracks or in a lower-income family, he is behind the eight ball. This kind of attitude is self-defeating and unfortunate. It's not confined to teen-agers either, but is common among those of every age who waste energy complaining about their lack of advantages, rather than using it to improve their lot.

Vernon is the kind of fellow who might have been licked by his background. His family lived in a shabby house in the poorest part of town. His father was hardly the kind of man of whom any boy could be proud, and his mother was little better.

Vernon never was allowed to invite friends to his home, and he had to forego belonging to clubs and organizations in order to work and help support his family. But Vernon wouldn't let circumstances defeat him. His gay spirit and wit and his talent for telling a good story took him into many a group as he became older. And his sympathy for the underdog, his concern for the underprivileged, won him a place in one after another project from grammar school onward. Like many of the world's great men, he made stumbling blocks into stepping stones and rose above his handicaps.

Any young person has the answer to his social problems within himself. When he really wants to, he can grow in his ability to win friends and acceptance. Often the person who has to forge a place for himself develops a special charm that more privileged individuals lack. A person's true individuality is his own to develop-in his own way and at his own pace throughout life.

http://www.phewit.com

Why Some Date Earlier Than Others

There are interlocking reasons why some teen-agers start having dates at earlier ages than do others.

Such factors as these are all interrelated:

1. how their parents feel about early dating;
2. how ready the boy or girl is for dating;
3. how much social experience a young person has had; and
4. how many social opportunities there are open to a given age and social set.

The Folks at Home

Parents who are socially active themselves tend to encourage their sons and daughters to participate in social events from early ages. They arrange mixed parties for their children, send them to dancing classes, buy them the proper clothes for various occasions, and in every way they can, urge them into social situations.

The Purdue Poll finding that dating starts earlier in higher socioeconomic groups is understandable. Young people whose parents are socially active have the opportunity to socialize freely from childhood onward. They are acquainted with the children of their parents' friends long before they reach their teens. They are involved with neighbors, church, and community activities.

Their parents expect this-they urge their children into the social life of the community so that they will eventually take then-place in their social circles.

Ambitious middle-class parents more often want their sons and daughters to pay attention to school work and vocational goals before they get distracted by dating. Families with a different socioeconomic background and outlook, on the other hand, expect their children to get jobs as soon as they can and help out at home even before school graduation.

So it is easy to see how such widely different dating habits exist. Some teen-agers are pressured into dates early by then-families, and others are pressured by parents into postponing dates as long as possible.

At Your Own Pace

Of course, some teenagers are ready for dates before others are. They simply mature earlier. The boy who shoots up tall and manly in his early teens is ready for dates before the "shorty" in his class. The girl who develops early so that she fills a strapless evening gown gracefully is datable at a time when her schoolmates are still looking and behaving like little girls.

The late-maturing boy or girl is just not as interested in the other sex and consequently not as interesting as a dating partner either. But the time will come when the slower-developing youngsters of both sexes catch up. Such a "late-bloomer" should be reassured that there is nothing wrong with maturing late.

In fact, there are advantages. The girl who doesn't go "boy-crazy" has opportunities to develop lasting intellectual and cultural interests, to make close friends among other girls, to excel in some skill or art. Certainly the late-maturing youngster need not feel "queer."

For a boy, this "breathing spell" between childhood and manhood is an opportunity to get a good start on vocational training, to develop meaningful hobbies, and even to enjoy his family more than is possible for the precocious lad who spends so much of his time and energy on dates.

Even so, the late-maturing girl or boy may feel out of things for a while simply because he or she is not personally ready for dates yet.

http://www.phewit.com

When Teenagers Start Dating

The Purdue Opinion Panel Poll of high school students reported that 31 per cent of the boys and 40 per cent of the girls started to date before they were fourteen years old. This means that a good many teenagers begin to date before they get into high school. It also confirms the observation that girls, in general, tend to mature earlier and start dating earlier than boys, age for age.

But still another finding of the Purdue Poll of tenth, eleventh and twelfth grade high school students is that one out of eight teen-agers doesn't date at all! How come that some young people start having dates even before they're in high school, and others have no dating experience whatsoever during their teens?

What do teenagers themselves have to say on this subject?

The Teens Talk

When thousands of representative high school students were asked the question, "At what age do you think teen-agers should have their first date?" 41 per cent answered thirteen to fourteen, and 46 per cent said fifteen to sixteen. Such replies indicate that most students feel that the first date should occur in the middle or early teens. It also suggests that many teen-agers appear to date earlier than they really think they should. Why? Who is it that starts dating earliest?

The Early Bird

The Purdue University survey found that high school students living in the western part of the United States start dating at earlier ages than do southern young people (47 per cent of those in the West as compared with 34 per cent of the southerners). Even more interesting is the finding that young people from the higher socioeconomic groups start dating at younger ages than do those from either the middle-income or the lower-income groups.

http://www.phewit.com

Prove It To Your Parents

Many a girl comes home with stars in her eyes at having been asked out by a boy, only to find her parents objecting on the grounds that she is still too young to date. And often a boy wants to take a girl out, but his mother or father insists that he give his full attention to his studies, saying, "There's plenty of time later for playing around with girls."

How can parents be convinced that you are ready for dates? This is a question that is asked by young people all over the country. Sometimes, of course, the parents are right, and their son or daughter is too immature to date. Actually it is up to you to prove that you're ready to go out by proving that you're grown-up.

How do you do that ?

By taking real responsibility around the house; by helping with chores such as car-washing, cleaning, lawn-mowing; by showing an understanding and concern for your family's problems and budget; by doing your school job well.

Maybe you'll also have to help your parents understand current dating habits in your community, so that they develop confidence in the social situations open to teen-agers. It helps to encourage mothers and fathers to get out to parents' meetings, to attend neighborhood affairs, and to keep up to date on school and social events. This last is your job.

Do you let your folks in on your activities?

Why Not To Talk About It ?

Many adults, and some young people too, frequently ask if reading books on dating and talking about dating problems actually help. There's no question about it-the more you learn about dating, the better.

The fear that such guidance will "give young people ideas beyond their years" is groundless. Actually, if they did not have the ideas, they wouldn't find such reading of interest.

Getting perspective on how other people feel, finding out what is generally expected of you on a date, becoming aware of the many ways you can approach the problem of getting along with others, and coming to terms with your unique answer to life's questions about men and women-all are facilitated by good reading and good discussions of dating, love, and marriage.

Furthermore, books about dating usually point up the fact that all the haunting questions, confusions, and problems that so baffle and hurt are common to most young people. It's encouraging to know that one is not alone-that others are shy, others are clumsy. Reading from a printed page about a poignant experience that you thought was yours alone lessens your sense of loneliness and isolation, makes you feel close to others again.

Of course, there is literature designed to be sexually stimulating rather than thought-provoking. Some jokes and talk are sexy and cheap too. But it's easy to differentiate. That discussion is worth-while if it aims at "growing you up" into the kind of person you want to become. You'll usually find it with other like-minded people, under a wise leader, in school, church group, or informal club, or even among close friends who bring out the best in each other.

Are You Ready to Date?

How is it that some people start dating at such a young age, and others are so much older before they begin to have dates? Both teen-agers and their parents often wonder what is the best age to begin dating. The question looms even more nowadays because so many young people start their dating so early in life. Should parents be concerned? Is there really a special age at which dating should begin?

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The Date For You

It's common knowledge that certain teen-age girls swoon over movie and TV stars. There was Elvis Presley, for instance, and before him Frank Sinatra, and long before his time Rudolph Valentino.

But few girls actually ever expect to date such an idol. In fact, one of the functions of the celebrity is to serve as a focus for early infatuation without ever requiring the girl to do anything about it. It's just as common for a fellow to daydream about a movie queen-and a good safe practice, because he will never be expected to court and win her.

Occasionally, however, a young person goes overboard in a crush on some unattainable person, so that he doesn't make progress with those who are realistically available to him. It's not just die movie or TV personality who's unattainable.

Many a young girl swoons over the football captain, the president of the senior class, or the most popular boy in the school, with whom she hasn't the ghost of a chance. Indeed, she wouldn't even know what to do on such a spectacular date if she had it.

Similarly, an inexperienced boy will sometimes moon over a popular teacher, or the school queen-as unattainable for him as Miss Universe.

As long as these super romantic crushes prevail, the in experienced boy or girl will probably make little progress in getting a date with anyone; for no real and available person can rival the "dream's" charms and popularity.

Realistically, the beginning dater starts with someone who is not much more socially active than he is. The boy who has never dated courts rejection or failure by asking out the most popular girl in the class two years ahead of him.

But he may make a good start with a friendly not-too-experienced girl a year or two younger than he is. A girl who wants to begin dating should look about for some pleasant, shy, interested fellow in her own grade (or a class or so beyond) rather than wistfully pine for an older, inaccessible man about town.

http://www.phewit.com